"Throughout this book, I felt Bruce had a secret window into my own life and private thoughts. Many private feelings I am currently dealing with were addressed and revealed in a manner that made me feel it is not only normal, but I am truly not alone in this. I was surprised that I cried while reading it and the comfort that the words brought me. I read tons of self-help books, among other types of books, and this book actually gives me hope and things to look forward to. My tears were from the fact that I am facing the words I read. I have been getting negative feedback from outside sources and these words reassured me not to listen, keep them out of your life and do what is right. The section on the other home/parent opened my eyes and freed me. I did not go into reading this book thinking it would help me on such a deep emotional level." ~Dorothy Justice, Vice Chair-Community Action Partnership

November 28, 2012

Moving Forward After Divorce


You may still be grieving and attempting to leave the past behind in order to let go. This is perfectly normal. Today, at this point in your development, reprioritizing and organizing your life for your future is what’s important now.
This article is the sixth segment in a twelve part series I developed for maximizing your opportunities for success after divorce called, “My 12 Point Ladder To Successful Divorce Transition With Children.” The fifth or last segment published,  “Working Past the Ex, Negativity and Games”, takes a look at new co-parenting roles in light of the divorce and new challenges which may result.

This segment, “Moving Forward”, is about designing your own new path. You may not have noticed, but you are a new person now. You may look the same in the mirror, but change is imminent. 

By this time in your transitional development, you are adjusting to your new household, your kids are settling into their new family dynamic, and you are managing to find a good balance that works with your co-parent for the benefit of the kids. 

You may still be grieving and attempting to leave the past behind in order to let go. This is perfectly normal. Today, at this point in your development, reprioritizing

November 13, 2012

Working Past The Ex, Negativity, and Games


Having to cope with new co-parenting roles while you are just trying to get up on your own feet can get complicated and frustrating.
This article is the fifth segment in a twelve part series I developed for maximizing your opportunities for success after divorce called, “My 12 Point Ladder To Successful Divorce Transition With Children.” The fourth or last segment published, "Integrating into your kid’s lives" is about having new opportunity to build deeper bonds with your children, merely from the additional individual closeness and time together.

This segment, “Working Past The Ex...”, is about utilizing four very simple key points in order to  mitigate the more contentious issues which may arise. By this time in your transitional development, you are starting to live your life with new single status and adjusting to the idea of what may lay ahead for you and your kids as your kids are curious about their new family dynamic. 

The separation is finally behind and you are adjusting to your new life as single parent. You have started to create your own niche with your children while consoling their hearts and trying to focus on their needs as well as your own.

If it were only this easy, it could be manageable. Just you and the kids, on your time, trying to figure things out are workable. Having to cope with new co-parenting roles while you are just trying to get up on your own feet can get complicated and frustrating.

Mutually learning to work together, always thinking of the kids first, would be cause for having a parade in both your honor. The reality is you are divorced because you couldn’t agree, learn to compromise, or work together for the common good. If this weren’t the case, maybe you’d still be married.

Chances are high you are reading this blog because you are looking for inspiration to help with some of your co-parenting challenges. I’m sure its not news for you that its best for you to work well with your

November 8, 2012

Our Children After Divorce- Integrating into your child’s life


Though the initial and immediate impacts, in my opinion, are felt extraordinarily hard and greatest toward the children in the middle age groups, 9-13.

More than any other time, your children will need your personal attention after divorce. A family split may be the biggest, most critical, emotional impact your child will accept in a lifetime. All children are obviously impacted by divorce-- one age group is more at risk and vulnerable.

Studies will show divorce will leave the longest impressions on the youngest children. Though the initial and immediate impacts, in my opinion, are felt extraordinarily hard and greatest toward the children in the middle age groups, 9-13.

A child this age is developing in to his/ her own. Emotional, social, intellectual and physical changes are converging at once, at their peak. During this period, many forms of challenges are already on your