"Throughout this book, I felt Bruce had a secret window into my own life and private thoughts. Many private feelings I am currently dealing with were addressed and revealed in a manner that made me feel it is not only normal, but I am truly not alone in this. I was surprised that I cried while reading it and the comfort that the words brought me. I read tons of self-help books, among other types of books, and this book actually gives me hope and things to look forward to. My tears were from the fact that I am facing the words I read. I have been getting negative feedback from outside sources and these words reassured me not to listen, keep them out of your life and do what is right. The section on the other home/parent opened my eyes and freed me. I did not go into reading this book thinking it would help me on such a deep emotional level." ~Dorothy Justice, Vice Chair-Community Action Partnership

May 5, 2014

Single Parent Challenges on Mothers Day

With Mothers Day approaching fast, and Fathers Day soon after, I know many single parents with absent spouses will be challenged on how or if to celebrate both.
With Mothers Day approaching fast, and Fathers Day soon after, I know many single parents with absent spouses will be challenged on how or if to celebrate both. With younger children, should we even celebrate the other parent’s day? If the other parent isn’t around or isn’t really participating, is there any question?

When in doubt, what do the kids want?  When my kids were young they wanted to buy things for their mom and I would pay for it. I never received or expected anything back from the other household in June. Somehow my kids came through and would manage to pull something together whether it was from school or some other small token. When the children are too young to understand the delicate nature surrounding these kinds of holidays, it’s really more about the children.

I’ve kept every Father's Day card, note, paper, or other gestures, mostly from their school days, placed away in a chest. Every few years I come across that bundle and I look through it. I’m betting they weren’t thinking, at the time of that painted handprint and “I love you” or color construction paper tie, the number of times over it would be enjoyed. It brings a smile to my face just thinking about it.

If we do it for the kids, how do we approach it? If the other parent is absent from your child’s lives you manage in the best way. Mother’s Day went unspoken in my household, though we would still do a family barbeque or a road trip together into the Colorado Mountains. I made sure this event didn’t go unnoticed.

Even if the other parent isn’t involved, it’s still important for the children to recognize the positive things on Mothers and Fathers Day. I’ve always encouraged my children to communicate and reach out to their mom, regardless of what day of year.

Here are a few suggestions for Mother’s Day regardless of your household status and gender role for this important day. Check local events on the web for what’s active over the weekend in your area:

  1. Road trip and a Picnic
  2. Nearby festivals
  3. Amusement Parks
  4. Dinner and Movie
  5. Botanic Gardens
  6. Family Barbecue
  7. State Parks/ Nature walk
By all means make a weekend of it. I recommend anything, which brings light-hearted and easy fun to make it a stress free day.

If the other parent is involved in your children’s lives, there’s a certain amount of respect I believe we should give our co-parent. Even in dire situations between co-parents, it’s really about the relationships between the kids and their mom. Give the appropriate time for the kids regardless of what the divorce decree says.

So what’s in a Mom? Here is a short list of what I’ve learned:

“…that loves her child unconditionally to the end of time. She nurtures, cares, teaches, reprimands (when needed), educates, and gives all the love in her heart for her children.”

“I would say that a mother is that one person in your life that shows sensitivity, friendship, understanding, shoulder to cry on…”

“…she only wants the best for you, and you never really realize it till you become grown. she worries about you all the time, even when you didn’t know there was anything for her to worry about.”

“When I think of Mom I think of unending love, kindness, self sacrifice and hard work.”

“I do have a 15 year old stepdaughter. Our relationship proves that you don’t have to give birth to be a mother.”

“That will always forgive and protect you even if that means putting their life before your own. They should also do whatever they possibly can to guide you down the right path, teach you and be a positive role model.”

God bless all the fabulous moms. Happy Mothers Day!

My Photo
Bruce Buccio resides in Colorado, USA, with his beautiful new wife, is loving dad, Author of "Parenting After Divorce: Rebuilding Your Life And Reaffirming the Relationships that Matter (2013)," court appointed state child advocate and expert counseling families professionally in parenting, relationship, personal growth and life changes. Today, he writes primarily inspired by experiences raising his children as single dad, but also writes about inspiration, growth, and love.

Photo courtesy "destinationdreamsanddogs.com"

© 2014 Bruce Buccio

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