8 Points That Will Change Your Life

When I originally developed this compilation over six years ago, I was already into the first of two years of my own personal search-I was in the midst of a two year sabbatical free from intimate relationships. This period in my life was initiated by the culmination of my minor children coming home fulltime and ending a yearlong relationship.

My children and I took advantage of our renewed time together-we grew through dynamic experiences and learned valuable lessons together. Through the process we developed stronger bonds, we learned together what is really important, and we discovered ourselves with each other.

During this period, I created time for introspection. My original vision of this sabbatical was for a year--it felt so good I took almost two. At a mere forty-four years old and 10 years removed from a divorce with my kids mom, I still had questions for myself: How did I get here? What have I accomplished? Where am I going? Finally hitting me, what do I really want?

The main keys I discovered allowed me to incorporate more harmony and balance in my life. During this prosperous journey to uncover and unravel my personal challenges, I wrote the “8 Keys to Finding Harmony and Balance”.

I read many popular books over this time primarily on the subjects of Spirituality, Personal Growth, Love, and Inspiration. I reached for books that jumped off the shelf at me. My search brought me to investigate topics of Buddhism, the art of Zen, Religion and finally the rediscovery of my savior and lord, my Christ and Devine Father. Other subjects I read were Integrity and Truth, being a Man and therefore a better Father, and Love as a hypothesis and model.

I focused on my children, my career, and me in that order. In retrospect, I gained a feeling of life cleansing or detoxification if you will. The value in releasing relationship issues, eating healthier, finding time and merit in exercise, more downtime in reading and quality with my children allowed me the opportunity to reorganize and reprioritize. My career blossomed as a result.

Mostly what I walked away with during this period is that happiness is more derived from a correlation of strengths in your life and not an easily contrived step-by-step process. Happiness happens through dynamic experiences, a thirst for change, a life of learning, reaching for goals, and sharing with those you love.

Sometimes when I hit a bump or two, I always return to the following 8 keys and believe in their capacity to make me feel better. These steps, when combined together, help me channel balance and harmony in my life. Synchronizing these items together will challenge, but as I’ve learned over the years it’s worth it.

8 Keys To Finding Harmony and Balance

1. Be in the present -Focus on the now, find clarity, witness your thoughts and clear your mind of the past and future; release your pains and fears.

2. Exercise Regularly -Staying fit for the mind, body/ heart and soul is imperative.

3. Eat Healthy -Satisfy the mind and body nutritiously.

4. Love and be loved -… Family and closest friends as the core and extend out to your other brother and sisters.

5. Practice Openness -Be honest with yourself and with others.

6. Do unto others… -The Golden Rule: do unto others, as you would want them to do unto you. Treat your friends and foes with respect and responsibility. Reach out and smile.

7. Be Active -Participate and get involved. Find purpose. Feed the soul.

8. Get the rest you need -For your daily needs and to elevate yourself to the top of this list again.

While balance is the stake and mortar in the ground, harmony is the connections or strong bonds, which bind them. Simply put, if balance is stability, then harmony is what embraces it. This list resonates within and I find its wealth in making me a more mindful, healthier, and better person.

In order to develop harmony, I formed strong bonds in my relationships with my children and others, improved my faith, got organized, reprioritized my life, and tied together all facets in my life. Examples of harmony are love, unity, agreement, faith, accomplishment, and good emotional health.

In order to create balance, I needed to build a firm base to stand on. I needed to find or develop stability. Examples of balance are sharing my life with a significant other or spouse and my children, chasing a dream, having an occupation, a good home, good physical health, family, and friends.

From my own personal experiences, this list will help you develop and bridge exhilaration and contentment in your life, the mere essence of happiness in my opinion. Join the ranks, who have incorporated and shared these 8 keys, and reach out to me today!

Bruce Buccio resides in Colorado, USA, with his beautiful new wife, is loving dad, Author of "Parenting After Divorce: Rebuilding Your Life And Reaffirming the Relationships that Matter (2013)," court appointed state child advocate and expert counseling families professionally in parenting, relationship, personal growth and life changes. Today, he writes primarily inspired by experiences raising his children as single dad, but also writes about inspiration, growth, and love.

Photo courtesy of "sheknows.com"

© 2014 Bruce Buccio

8 Ways to Stop Yelling or Reprimanding

How do you view and define discipline as a parent? Finding the right balance that works with your child is your prerogative, within reason of course. What would happen if you were to start reasoning with your child with rationale and good understanding of the issue as if you were ... mentoring.

As a mentor, you may guide, advise, teach, and counsel others who may have less knowledge and understanding or experience such as your child. There are personal attributes which run hand in hand with mentoring, such as love, compassion, flexibility, and perhaps a lot of understanding. Mentoring your child starts when they can share dialogue with you and can ask good questions. You want this kind of dialogue with your child to start early; expressing your concerns calmly on the issue at hand in a language they understand. Here are eight identifiable ways to work through the issues without yelling or even reprimanding your children. With a consistent and confident approach, the results may just surprise you.

"In the process, you have shown you can respect your child when they are just trying to grow up; that you regard their shortcomings in lieu of their lack of experience."

1. Guide your child with your understanding and acknowledgement of the issue. Talk your way through. Advise them on better choices with healthier consequences.  
2. You want to be their "mentor" always explaining, always pointing out positive ways and always working as a team. You want kind, respectful and bilateral dialogue in a calm and natural setting always modeling your behavior in the manner you want mirrored. Be patient. If your child is testing you, stay your course and be confident.
3. Make sure your loved one is clear on your concern by asking for clarity on the issue. Get their acknowledgement on the mistake, mishap, or bad decision.  
4. Counsel your children on the importance of the issue and where there is virtue. In the end, you will have taught your child a valuable lesson that will keep them open-minded and listen the next time a situation arises. In the process, you have shown you can respect your child when they are just trying to grow up; that you regard their shortcomings in lieu of their lack of experience. Your wiser child is empowered with knowledge and perhaps regret, instead of feeling chastised or reprimanded. 
5. Your "actions" should reflect their actions are not appreciated and not cool. You may not see good results immediately but always walk away with confidence that your child is listening even if its not immediately apparent. 
6. Discipline should never result in your child feeling bad. Punishment or penalizing may not be wise if the result means your child is repeatedly not happy as a result or disagrees angrily stomping away. Something is wrong. You don’t want your child feeling bad, distressed, or even worse, humiliated. You want conclusions where both parties are in mutual understanding. If not, then more work is necessary. 
7. Take time more wisely to gain understanding and common ground on the issue together. Another tactic not to impose is the quick punishment (when no questions are asked and quick conclusions are drawn based on impressions or assumptions) which means someone is going to have to feel bad and that may be both of you if you cannot separate yourself from the grief you just inflicted. Someone is going to have to take time away because of the conflict, which just occurred; ultimately designating each other to understand the extent of the problem on their own. There is no long-term benefit to this. 
8. At a minimum, always allow your loved one to walk from the issue with understanding and clearly accepting their actions and subsequently your actions. Mentoring fosters trust and respect in your relationship instead of control, restraint, and consequently disorder. This enhances accountability and worth, in light of the issue, and this is an outcome you both can live with together.   

Bruce Buccio resides in Colorado, USA, with his beautiful new wife, is loving dad, Author of "Parenting After Divorce: Rebuilding Your Life And Reaffirming the Relationships that Matter (2013)," court appointed state child advocate and expert counseling families professionally in parenting, relationship, personal growth and life changes. Today, he writes primarily inspired by experiences raising his children as single dad, but also writes about inspiration, growth, and love.

© 2014 Bruce Buccio