"Throughout this book, I felt Bruce had a secret window into my own life and private thoughts. Many private feelings I am currently dealing with were addressed and revealed in a manner that made me feel it is not only normal, but I am truly not alone in this. I was surprised that I cried while reading it and the comfort that the words brought me. I read tons of self-help books, among other types of books, and this book actually gives me hope and things to look forward to. My tears were from the fact that I am facing the words I read. I have been getting negative feedback from outside sources and these words reassured me not to listen, keep them out of your life and do what is right. The section on the other home/parent opened my eyes and freed me. I did not go into reading this book thinking it would help me on such a deep emotional level." ~Dorothy Justice, Vice Chair-Community Action Partnership

August 1, 2014

Going The Distance In Love Only To Be Taken For A Loop

You go the distance thinking your partner is there every step of the way and then boom-- you get taken for a loop. No one likes to hit the recycle button.
What is it about love that has us so? Love in our heart gives us this malleable nature within- an intrinsic ability to allow others to feel our imminence, sensitivity and kindness. It's paradoxical how love heals, empowers, creates dreams, makes us do funny even downright goofy things. But when not handled properly, can lead us astray and downright hurt.

Sharing our life and our heart brings its risks undoubtedly- we put our self out there with genuine thoughts and expectations only to have our most treasured, protected and tendered area stepped on. You go the distance thinking your partner is there every step of the way and then boom-- you get taken for a loop. No one likes to hit the recycle button.

It’s not easy moving forward in an environment unsympathetic to a yoyo stemmed life of drama, excitement, let downs, passion, setbacks, bliss, etc. You know the routine. The ups and downs and thrashing of emotions takes on symptoms of vertigo. But we do it.

 It’s in our nature to accept challenges, learn from mistakes and misfortune, adapt, and then forgive. We also learn from how we relate and the heart-filled sensations we discover along the way. This is what keeps bringing us back. Love fills a void and expands our chest cavity. Love is a drug. We jump back in knowing it's addictive spirit.

"Love moves mountains" is a cliché many of us have heard, some will inevitably experience.  It’s that “Wow” factor that breaks down personal barriers, turns the stubborn into the tractable and the heartless into merciful. Love is a lot of things and here are a few adjectives I personally associate: commitment, intimacy, chemistry, attachment, caring, patience, kindness, affection, compassion, and selflessness.  

Are you happy in love or part of the malcontent in perpetual groan?  Perhaps you are in the middle somewhere investigating something new or maybe searching. That covers the broadband of areas in terms of relationships and love. Which category are you? Chances are high if you are happy in love you wouldn't be deep in this article. 

 I have a hypothesis. If you are the wonderful things you feel, and you are not getting the results you desire whether you are in a relationship or not, it may be time to start your life. In otherwords, move forward with you, your plans, your ideas and give yourself consent to allow things to happen and the result may just be everlasting. 

These are the personal traits, which attract us initially to others: confidence, attitude, purpose or direction, and your beautiful smile. If you are doing the things you really enjoy, living a life filled with substance outside of work and family, your perception of self will change, and your attitude and outlook as perceived by others will follow.

Get out. Achieve the things you never had time. Make a list of at least 10 things you know you would enjoy- don’t think just write. Now review your list in no particular order. What are the two things that stand out the most? Do them. That’s your start.

Choose items you know you would enjoy now, today- perhaps things you procrastinated on, never had the money, miss as a favorite past-time, or maybe even dreamed about when you were younger. 

Here’s a highlight of where I’m going:

1.     If you are looking for love or wanting love in your current relationship, look inward. The evaluation there is what will get you where you want to go.

2.     By finding and adding more substance in your life, you will achieve bigger personal growth.   John Lennon had a saying, “ Life happens when you are making other plans.”

3.     Stop doing the same things over again wishing for a hit.

4.     Relationships that develop and grow organically are ideal.

5.     Start your life and maybe life will start for you.

My theory, in a nutshell, is if you work on you, your new priorities, your goals and your objectives and make those things your primary focus, then things will begin to happen for the better in many different capacities in your life on many different platforms. Your growth leads to your potential. Control your destiny, be fearless ...and smile.


My Photo
Bruce Buccio resides in Colorado, USA, with his beautiful new wife, is loving dad, Author of "Parenting After Divorce: Rebuilding Your Life And Reaffirming the Relationships that Matter (2013)," court appointed state child advocate and expert counseling families professionally in parenting, relationship, personal growth and life changes. Today, he writes primarily inspired by experiences raising his children as single dad, but also writes about inspiration, growth, and love.



-photo courtesy: "thebridgemaker.com"

© 2014 Bruce Buccio
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