"Throughout this book, I felt Bruce had a secret window into my own life and private thoughts. Many private feelings I am currently dealing with were addressed and revealed in a manner that made me feel it is not only normal, but I am truly not alone in this. I was surprised that I cried while reading it and the comfort that the words brought me. I read tons of self-help books, among other types of books, and this book actually gives me hope and things to look forward to. My tears were from the fact that I am facing the words I read. I have been getting negative feedback from outside sources and these words reassured me not to listen, keep them out of your life and do what is right. The section on the other home/parent opened my eyes and freed me. I did not go into reading this book thinking it would help me on such a deep emotional level." ~Dorothy Justice, Vice Chair-Community Action Partnership

February 27, 2012

Happiness is what you make of it- change in yourself is key

Finding The Path To Happiness/ BB
© All Rights Reserved. 
I could tell you the exact point in time and place I knew I had reached peace within; my very definition of happiness. I will tell you that its silly, though what’s most important is I no longer had to ask myself where happiness was, I just knew.

That’s the beauty of it.

Once I began to feel this inner peace, it was okay to move forward in my life. The culmination of actions that facilitated my change:

  1. Placed my career on hold
  2. Reached for and received emotional support in my life through unwavering and unconditional love
  3. While God is/ was always in my life, I learned to trust in him and therefore in his love
  4. Leaned on what was important for me now

Within the last four years, I received a push. I needed more personal fulfillment. I needed to do more. I still managed to stumble, but looking back it all makes sense now. I needed to change accepting the easy and safe route. I needed to change the pattern.

I didn’t want to wait for that disaster.

Looking back, my life was filled with transition: College, Marriage, Children, Interstate move, Divorce, Job change, Career change, Company startup, Planned two-year sabbatical in soul searching, and then another Marriage which I promptly annulled. My choices in life fell on me and I accepted them. I accepted safe because they were easy decisions to make.

For some, hitting rock bottom would create change. When you lose everything? I didn’t want to wait for that disaster. Eventually I chose unsafe. Two years ago I woke up to unhappy. I was sad. I was numb. I was lost. I had to ask myself the initial obvious questions:

• Is it your job?
• Your career?
• Your relationships?

Then more introspection came:

• Lack of having a life served with great personal intentions and interests?
• Being debt-strapped?
• All of the above?
• Or is it just I?

I knew my priorities.

After my divorce to my kids’ mother, I knew and accepted my emotional and financial priorities to my children. That was my base. My children were my nucleus; the center of my world. Everything would extend from there. I made it a priority to love and support my children first. You do what you do. I made good decisions, which supported my lifestyle as Single Dad raising my children. What was lacking was good personal choices for me.

I had to own up to what wasn’t a priority.

I needed to stop, fix, or change the things I didn’t like in my life. I already made my priorities in what I wanted and were important. I released the things that were not, including on separate terms, a large house and a three-month marriage I didn’t believe in. I started to fix myself; all this without a job.

I’m doing the impossible.

My children are grown and off to college, starting new lives. I’m empty nesting. I’m not waiting for life to happen to me anymore. I’m doing. I’m creating.

My greatest passions have always been my children and I love to write. I never considered making a living on writing nonetheless writing inspired by my experiences raising my children. I’m doing what I love and its okay. I’m gaining traction in what makes me feel good. I’m happy.

So here I am, in bliss.

Recently I got engaged to the most beautiful, loving, caring and intelligent woman. My children love her. I feel grateful that Shannon is in my life and is supporting my drive and endeavor. Having the right person or people in your life, including family, help facilitate happiness.

We need people. It’s part of the equation. The culmination of actions listed above brought it together for me. It’s overpowering. I can begin to love myself. I started to allow myself to accept love without the fears and pains instilled from my past.

Some challenges still exist and that’s okay.

Are my recent changes going to rid the realities and challenges that come with everyday life? No, but now I feel empowered to think more positively.

In addition to God, It feels good to know I have someone in my life I can count on. I can trust. I can believe again in matrimony, harmony and balance in my life.

The key is change.

Can you create Happiness? Yes you can. I re-prioritized my life. I downsized my material wealth and released debt. I paid off other debt. I’m now in a position to change every day to what I love doing. I have the things that are important to me: Shannon, my children, writing, and being happy.

I trust in God.

I prayed. I spoke to him and I listen through my heart. I entrust my faith in God and took a leap. I have nothing to lose. I’m embracing change.

With change, I can see the light through the trees. I know I’m on the right path. There’s so much to do and so little time, starting with this blog.

By writing and doing what I love, I want to help others who struggle with our new epidemic called single parenting. It’s on the rise. Children are at risk and need our help.

Are you happy? Is change the answer? Do you want to change? I can help you through the preparation, transition and rebuilding into the next chapter in your life.

© 2012 Bruce Buccio

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