"Throughout this book, I felt Bruce had a secret window into my own life and private thoughts. Many private feelings I am currently dealing with were addressed and revealed in a manner that made me feel it is not only normal, but I am truly not alone in this. I was surprised that I cried while reading it and the comfort that the words brought me. I read tons of self-help books, among other types of books, and this book actually gives me hope and things to look forward to. My tears were from the fact that I am facing the words I read. I have been getting negative feedback from outside sources and these words reassured me not to listen, keep them out of your life and do what is right. The section on the other home/parent opened my eyes and freed me. I did not go into reading this book thinking it would help me on such a deep emotional level." ~Dorothy Justice, Vice Chair-Community Action Partnership

March 6, 2012

I Have Myself

What is real happiness/ ElyceFeliz
What makes you happy? It’s a question you won’t ponder very long. It’s an answer you already know. I’m not asking if you are happy right here in the moment. I’m talking about the kind where you can’t really point to any one area in your life for an answer; you just know you are happy.

If you take away every object you own, how would you feel? There are no tangible dependencies to being happy.  By finding purpose and exercising our passion is an essential part of finding happiness in my opinion. Doing what we are passionate about excites the senses. What would happen if we took a leap of faith and explored our passion?

We can all agree happiness isn’t material. Money doesn’t create happiness, but we can’t deny it certainly helps if used properly. Providing money to those in need or using it to help others provide some form of relief will elicit good feelings.

I can reach out to those in need. I can in fact be in control of and achieve my own happiness actually. I have myself. I didn’t always understand this. I wasn’t being shortsighted. I realize on any given day, I can bring happiness into my life by reaching out to others, giving my time, my focus, and by my writing.

For some its something you’ve had all your life.

Happiness is very natural for some. For others, like me, true happiness is a revelation you reach eventually. If you take every tangible material object away and you still own your happiness, then I believe you are truly happy. You have an inner peace that’s not disturbed.

~ Happiness is what’s in your heart and excites purpose and motivation to do good for others and therefore yourself. ~

Read again, and absorb what this means to you.

Still, there are those who have been chasing personal happiness all their lives; not knowing how to achieve or what steps to take. Some accept that’s the way it is. That’s sad. For any reason happiness is on your mind, I hope you‘ll find comfort and/ or consolation in reading more.

I don’t believe Happiness is complicated.

Or it doesn’t have to be. It really doesn’t. We all can share the same equation; it’s up to us to fill in the constants.

~ A constant is anything close to you and is consistently a positive aspect in your life; anything that’s constantly eliciting positive feelings. ~

Setting aside or removing anything else that falls outside of this category will help you achieve happiness. Other constants we can place in the equation are actionable substance that fill your heart or feed your soul.

Examples of these, to name a few, are:

  • Giving
  • Finding purpose
  • Generosity
  • Sharing or creating bonded relationships
  • Self-effacing acts of kindness
  • Love

Reaching out to others in need or standing side-be-side sharing the same goals would elicit bonds and good feelings. Wouldn’t life be grand if we all could elicit happiness by these gestures? Perhaps feeding a perpetual wave of goodness spreading happiness around us.

God will support me.

To me, you cannot have a discussion about happiness without God. Having God in my life makes things easier for me. I know I will still have struggles from time to time. The valleys in life won’t go away; things happen.

I personally rely on The Serenity Prayer, provided to us by the theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Insightfulness to this prayer has encouraged me to change.

Trusting in God and understanding he has something in store for me is essential. He will test me and consequently make me a better person. I can rely on him to show me the way. Knowing God loves me is one of my constants.

Happiness is like a shield.

Happiness protects you from negativity, small-unexpected challenges, or the problems that others would like to share and suck you in. Yet, while happy, none of these can bring you down or impact you. Being truly happy may develop the need to help those who share in misery.

Some see the mark and are trying to get there. You have purpose. You are working hard. You can feel the need to complete your task. You know eventually you will get there. This positive energy and thinking will insight happiness.

Happiness can be elusive.

I know I can’t physically hold happiness; it’s not tangible. It will escape me if I don’t practice it. When I can’t see it on my face or feel it in my gut anymore I do know where I can find it. With some act of kindness or generosity I can generate something in my heart. I can reach out to others with compassion.

Its always there. You just have to bring it out. If you believe in yourself, you’ll find happiness. Believing in you will make all the difference. When I cannot point to any one particular area or thing and still just be happy, I know I‘ve found it.

We have vices we depend on for the short term.

There are and will be things or should I say vices that we will and can rely on, maybe even depend on for happiness. We’ll go for that therapeutic run, eat the ice cream, make an impulsive buy.

These are all things that create a smile or derive pleasure. Guilty pleasures help smooth out the bumps we’ll invariably encounter along the way. Each vice helps achieve a quick status. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, habitually or impulsively reaching for and/ or buying objects will only fill a void temporarily.

I digress.

Every time I ride my Roadliner I admit I go somewhere else. Its somewhat spiritual to me and meditative. I chuckle as I write this but its so true. Everything goes away. I’m one with my surroundings and in the present.

There’s a connection I reach. I feel protected and its almost hard to describe, though It’s just two wheels between the road and me. Eventually, when the ride is over, I’ve whisked away any plausible tension or sense of urgency. I come back to my senses and I’m grounded again. I’m humbled. The ride makes me happy and will resonate.

In the end, Happiness is substance.

You may point to a number of things or areas, which make you smile and reminisce. I’d like you to reach for the substance that draws contentment and exhilaration; the very essence of happiness in my opinion. These are the things that you would marvel about, make your eyes shine, and create a feeling of warmth in your chest.

Things which come to mind for me are falling in love, the closeness in my relationship, family events and holidays, watching my kids grow up and achieve milestones in their lives, being a part of defining moments for my children, being there for my kids when they needed me, and having the opportunity to being a father. These stir my heart.

These provide meaning for me and that’s important. I can find purpose in that. Perhaps if I look broader at these areas I can see how important it is to having others in my life that truly care about me, having family who accepts my love, and engaging in profound relationships.

I can make it even simpler. How about taking gratitude in having others in my life? I am thankful. Once more, I can give back if I rest on an appreciation for the small things I have to offer: my health, beauty in my heart, my smile. These are things I own and no one can take away. I can achieve real happiness if I put my mind to it and use the gifts I already have.

Here are 8 Keys to finding Harmony and Balance in your life. For those who believe happiness is a big step right now, these keys will install confidence and bridge your ability to achieve happiness.

© 2012 Bruce Buccio

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